1 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,162 All right, Manger Babies. 2 00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,328 We are on right after the weather report. 3 00:00:37,437 --> 00:00:40,839 So, if anyone has to go to the bathroom, tell me now. 4 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:45,871 Well, it looks like that storm brewing in Big Bend will miss Heimlich County... 5 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:49,847 and plant a big sloppy kiss on the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex. 6 00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:52,509 -Sorry, Big D. -Thanks, Nancy. 7 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:55,546 On a personal note, I will be on vacation next week. 8 00:00:55,789 --> 00:01:00,124 So, Nancy, I'd like to be the first to wish you a happy 40th birthday. 9 00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,727 Why, thank you, Berle. 10 00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:08,228 For 40-year-old Nancy Hicks Gribble on weather and Don Ringle on sports... 11 00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:10,934 this is Berle Arlington bidding you... 12 00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:13,336 good night and God bless. 13 00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:15,803 And clear. 14 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,570 Hey, beautiful! 15 00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:21,337 Prepare yourself to be whisked, as in o/�. 16 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:26,414 I am taking you to the La Grunta Resort for a birthday weekend you will not forget. 17 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,689 I think I'd rather celebrate my birthday quietly at home. 18 00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:33,453 Too late. Your credit card is already billed. 19 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,120 Now, let's go pamper you. 20 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:42,464 DALE: The odd thing is I hate dirt, but I love mud. 21 00:01:56,917 --> 00:02:01,218 It's hailing! I've got to get back to the station. This is sweeps-worthy weather. 22 00:02:04,591 --> 00:02:08,892 Our Weather Watcher in Rumpert says the hail is now dodge-ball size. 23 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,162 We gotta go live! 24 00:02:12,199 --> 00:02:13,360 You okay? 25 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,935 You, puppet girl, can you read? 26 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:22,532 "And the National Weather Service predicts the storm will..." 27 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:27,345 Slow down! The words are going too fast. 28 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,548 Damn it. She's wearing blue. 29 00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,741 ...for two more days before finally clearing. 30 00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:33,718 It's a good color on her. 31 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:38,447 Anyways, it's going to keep raining and hailing and thundering and lightning-ing... 32 00:02:38,558 --> 00:02:39,525 for a while. 33 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,890 So, hug your babies tight. 34 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:47,300 LUANNE: And back to you, Mr. Arlington. BERLE: Call me Berle. 35 00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:48,401 LUANNE: Berle. 36 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,866 I got here as fast as I could, Tom. I am ready to go on. 37 00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:55,203 Hey, Nancy, we are going to shake things up a little. 38 00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:59,006 I am making you the late night weekend weather girl. 39 00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:01,547 Luanne is going to take over the morning weather slot. 40 00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:10,019 I used to think these lines gave me integrity as a weather journalist. 41 00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:13,357 But who am I kidding? They are just wrinkles. 42 00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:14,950 I blame the mirror. 43 00:03:15,062 --> 00:03:18,259 I've seen a mirror turn an ordinary man 10 feet tall. 44 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:21,426 And another turn the same man 3 feet short. 45 00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,936 That man was me. 46 00:03:24,304 --> 00:03:28,207 I am getting old, Dale. And I am in a younger, prettier business. 47 00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:29,275 Oh, God! 48 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:32,144 I need a face-lift or a time machine. 49 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:38,476 And your smoking is not helping. Cigarettes are hell on skin. 50 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:40,917 You know I can't quit. 51 00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:46,855 What do you think, Dr. Mark Seldon? Can you take care of my baby? 52 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,860 Absolutely. I am very good. 53 00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:51,788 I just want to look like me, 20 years ago. 54 00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:54,126 What's this face-ectomy going to run us? 55 00:03:54,367 --> 00:03:55,391 $5,000. 56 00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:58,767 It will take us 20 years to save that kind of money. 57 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,806 And then you will have to make her look 40 years younger. 58 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:04,570 And we'll never be able to afford that! 59 00:04:06,546 --> 00:04:08,537 Why would Nancy want a face-lift? 60 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:10,946 There's nothing wrong with the face God gave her. 61 00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:14,715 I am with you. But my baby gets what my baby wants. 62 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:19,019 There is no procedure, however gruesome, I could ever deny her. 63 00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:22,790 How're you gonna pay for it? Are you taking Dale's Dead Bug public? 64 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:25,296 Good idea. But nope. 65 00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:28,527 I filed a $5,000-dollar suit in small-claims court... 66 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:32,003 against one Reynolds Penland, Chairman and CEO... 67 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,574 of the Manitoba Tobacco Corporation. 68 00:04:34,674 --> 00:04:39,305 I will allege the second-hand smoke from his fine product has wrinkled my wife... 69 00:04:39,546 --> 00:04:43,540 jeopardizing her job because she is unattractive to weather-watchers... 70 00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:46,881 and her marriage because she is unattractive to me. 71 00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:50,451 You know, who you ought to be suing is the Arlen school system. 72 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:54,788 How one of their graduates could come up with a plan this dumb is beyond me. 73 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:57,725 No. My plan is brilliant. 74 00:04:58,398 --> 00:05:01,368 I could be suing those cigarette moguls for billions. 75 00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,904 They will never show up in court to save a measly five large. 76 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:07,565 They pee wine that costs more than that. 77 00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:10,642 - I will get a default judgment. -Brilliant. 78 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,742 Four, three, two, one. 79 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,716 9:00 a.m. on the dot and the dastardly coward didn't show. 80 00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,783 I will just take my money now and skedaddle. 81 00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,025 Oh, poo! 82 00:05:31,464 --> 00:05:33,125 Your Honor, I am Jeremy Toblik... 83 00:05:33,233 --> 00:05:36,066 lead counsel for the Manitoba Tobacco Corporation... 84 00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,297 and its CEO, Reynolds Penland. 85 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:46,011 It appears this case has been removed to Federal District Court across the street. 86 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,077 Where they will write my check? 87 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:53,676 Mr. Gribble, the Manitoba Tobacco Corporation has just counter-sued you... 88 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,846 for $1.3 million dollars. 89 00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,548 Have a nice day in court. 90 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,824 You weren't supposed to show up! 91 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,863 PENLAND: Don't underestimate this guy. 92 00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,696 He's the only customer in our database... 93 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,703 who has earned every single item in our gift catalog. 94 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:16,138 You've got to smoke 90,000 cigarettes just to get the satineen jacket. 95 00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,880 Now, let's be honest. He should be dead by now. 96 00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,039 I am not putting you on the stand. 97 00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:25,015 Don't worry. We are placing Gribble under electronic surveillance. 98 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:26,415 Observation. 99 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:30,782 Best-case scenario, we catch Gribble playing lovey-dovey with his wife... 100 00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:31,949 and destroy his credibility. 101 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,995 - I don't want to know about this. -It can't be traced back to you. 102 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:39,555 We hired a local P.I. And we are paying him out of our snack-cake division. 103 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,632 [Dale panting heavily] 104 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:47,765 The lawyers subpoenaed my records. That's the first step. 105 00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:50,841 The second step will be to kidnap everyone I've ever known... 106 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,503 and erase their memories. 107 00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:54,808 The third step will be to kill me! 108 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:58,510 Dale, they are suing you. They are not gonna kill you. 109 00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:00,377 Wake up, Hank! 110 00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:05,357 These people kill 400,000 of their own satisfied customers every year! 111 00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:09,021 Dale, do yourself a favor and just drop the case. 112 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,824 Maybe they will go easy on you. 113 00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:19,269 How do you know maybe they will go easy on me? 114 00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:23,869 They got to you, didn't they, Hank Hill? 115 00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:27,310 Or should I say, Reynolds Penland? 116 00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:29,382 Peel off your fake face, Penland. 117 00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:31,678 Come on, peel it off. Like this. 118 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,019 From the bottom up. 119 00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:40,991 Penland, you just bought yourself an assault charge. 120 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,361 -Dale Gribble? -Yes! 121 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:51,001 -Got a package for you. -Goody-goody. What'd I get? 122 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,642 It's Smoking Sammy Salmon, the singing Manitoba fish. 123 00:07:57,777 --> 00:08:01,441 This is a corporate Christmas present not available to the public. 124 00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:02,581 Enjoy. 125 00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:07,419 Look, Nancy! It's Smoking Sammy Salmon, the singing Manitoba fish. 126 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,623 Wow! 127 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,658 Luanne is one hot fudge sundae with two big scoops. 128 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,924 Wait! This will cheer you up. 129 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,501 LUANNE: It's the five-day forecast. 130 00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:24,194 [Singing] Manitoba is the brand to smoke 131 00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:26,398 You'll enjoy it toke for toke 132 00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,268 Don't worry 133 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:30,907 Keep smoking 134 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:32,545 A bug! 135 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:37,117 A grotesque, flying water beetle. 136 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:40,181 Will you excuse me, Nancy? 137 00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:43,017 They are bugging me! My God! I can't! 138 00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,554 Dale! Come in. 139 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,958 I was just, you know, drinking beer. 140 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:03,976 What? 141 00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:08,241 -I am being bugged. -What? 142 00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,214 I am being bugged! 143 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,917 By the Manitoba Tobacco Corporation. 144 00:09:17,357 --> 00:09:21,817 Was it like when the Norwegian Secret Police planted a bug in your person? 145 00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:25,559 No. These guys are amateurs to be trifled with. 146 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,266 In the spirit of aikido... 147 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,463 I will turn their bug against them... 148 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:35,007 and feed it a steady diet of strategic disinformation... 149 00:09:35,108 --> 00:09:39,204 i.e., I will insult Nancy's appearance so convincingly... 150 00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:42,441 they will offer me a large out-of-court settlement. 151 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:46,179 I get it. And Nancy will pretend to cry. 152 00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:50,345 No. No pretending. Nancy's a terrible actress. 153 00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:54,451 Remember how her Eliza Doolittle "did little" for the critics? 154 00:09:54,828 --> 00:09:58,822 For my insults to be effective, Nancy must remain completely in the dark... 155 00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:03,870 her reactions real and unscripted, like a Dean Martin roast. 156 00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:11,066 I got a new dress for work today. 157 00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:15,879 Baby. Come here and let me get a good look at you. 158 00:10:16,649 --> 00:10:20,608 -I love the dress. But what's with the face? -What? 159 00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,485 I am just saying you might want to get a skycap to help you... 160 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:26,287 with those bags under your eyes. 161 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:35,526 DALE: Nancy, dearest, your smoke-ravaged face is making me nauseous. 162 00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:39,936 Would you mind putting this Kroger bag over your head so I can make love to you? 163 00:10:40,039 --> 00:10:41,473 NANCY: Get out! 164 00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,176 The man's an animal. 165 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:46,439 The only person the jury's going to hate more than him is me. 166 00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:49,880 I don't know how much more of this I can take. 167 00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:53,044 When he's not coming up with a new way to tell me I am ugly... 168 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:56,555 he's talking about how much money he's going to make off of my disfigurement. 169 00:10:56,656 --> 00:11:00,217 You are not disfigured. You are very pretty. 170 00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:03,325 Hank, tell her how pretty she is. 171 00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:08,732 Well, you've got beautiful eyes, and a great figure, and you got-- 172 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,963 Thank you, Hank. That's more than enough. 173 00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:13,733 Hi, everybody. 174 00:11:13,973 --> 00:11:17,876 Wow! Mrs. Gribble, you look terrible. 175 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,907 Here. Try this new moisturizing cream. 176 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,047 |I use it on days when I don't look my best. 177 00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:28,647 It's not even opened. 178 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,285 She sure looks tired. 179 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:38,194 Yes. But still doable. 180 00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:42,334 If I am going to win this thing, I've got to bump it up a notch. 181 00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,196 Nancy is highly allergic to lemon. 182 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:49,772 -Bill, hand me a-- -Lemon? 183 00:11:50,143 --> 00:11:51,110 Yes. 184 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,486 NANCY: Oh, my God! 185 00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:07,249 And as we move west toward El Paso, watch out for high winds. 186 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:11,292 So, ladies, if you've just done your hair, you'd better beware. 187 00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:16,592 I just came to support Mrs. Gribble and to give her some more make-ups. 188 00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:19,272 -You sabotaged my face! -What? 189 00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:23,031 -Look at me! -Good God. 190 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:28,875 Now, Manitoba Cigarettes have cost you your job, too? 191 00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:31,575 Tom the station manager said... 192 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:35,086 he didn't want to see my ugly face anymore! 193 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:38,915 So, now nobody wants to see your ugly face. 194 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,989 That is it! I don't deserve this. 195 00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:46,359 You used to be a kind, loving man. And now you are a foul-mouthed monster! 196 00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:49,367 -Yeah, yeah. Go on. -Don't you touch me! 197 00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:52,100 It's over. I am leaving you. 198 00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:02,541 My horrifyingly grotesque wife is leaving me because of my... 199 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,240 smoking. 200 00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:18,692 Dale, I've tried real hard to stay out of your relationship. 201 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:23,533 But your relationship just moved into my house and won't stop crying. 202 00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:27,033 Drop the suit and apologize before it's too late. 203 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,507 Man, you are a little-picture guy. 204 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:32,169 Once I win and Nancy gets her face-lift... 205 00:13:32,278 --> 00:13:35,373 everything will be as smooth as her new skin. 206 00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:41,885 [Singing] Beef-A-Root's fun to eat 207 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,922 Beef-A-Root's really neat 208 00:13:44,023 --> 00:13:45,821 Beef-A-Root's quite a treat 209 00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:47,290 -Hooray! -Yippee! 210 00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:49,691 For Beef-A-Roni 211 00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:53,524 I can't take it anymore! Nancy's gone! 212 00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,625 She is gone and it's breaking my heart. 213 00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,804 -She's coming back. -No. No, she's not! 214 00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:04,605 You are living a lie. She's never coming back! 215 00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:07,942 They never ever do! You think they will but they won't. 216 00:14:08,047 --> 00:14:11,642 Bill, you are scaring me. Weren't we just having fun? 217 00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:14,910 Yes. Believe me, I want you to get a divorce. 218 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:17,581 That way you will be here all the time. 219 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,751 Secretly, I was happy your stupid plan backfired... 220 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,922 so that I wouldn't be alone anymore, but this isn't right. 221 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:29,201 Go back to your wife! Here! Take the money! And go, go on! 222 00:14:29,335 --> 00:14:31,565 Get back out the door and get out of here! Get out! 223 00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:43,077 Hank, maybe I should talk to Nancy for just a moment. 224 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:46,384 She doesn't want to talk to you. You broke her heart, Dale. 225 00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,716 Tell her I just want to tell her I am sorry... 226 00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:52,451 and if she will let me talk to her, I will tell her myself. Tell her. 227 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:56,084 I will do my best. But it's not going to be an easy sell. 228 00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:00,294 HANK: Nancy? NANCY: Make him go away. 229 00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,702 No sale. 230 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:14,242 I need my Nancy! 231 00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:20,882 She won't talk to me. What am I going to do? 232 00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:27,386 Wait. I know what I am going to do. 233 00:15:27,827 --> 00:15:30,296 All right, brain trust. The trial's tomorrow. 234 00:15:30,396 --> 00:15:32,057 Don't play patty cake with me. 235 00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:33,763 Could we lose this thing? 236 00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:36,267 We erased the tapes, so they can't hurt us. 237 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:41,307 But the love affair between juries and tobacco companies has cooled. 238 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:43,741 Could we lose this thing? 239 00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:51,450 TOBLIK: Yes. 240 00:15:55,321 --> 00:15:58,814 -Are you Nancy Hicks Gribble? -Yes. 241 00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:02,324 It's a subpoena. 242 00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:05,955 Now Dale is dragging me into court to humiliate me publicly. 243 00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:08,691 I can't get involved. Good day, madam. 244 00:16:22,615 --> 00:16:24,606 It's a legitimate offer. Why couldn't he just-- 245 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:27,812 -Mr. Gribble, I am Reynolds Penland. -Wait. 246 00:16:28,321 --> 00:16:31,916 If you're here, who's that? 247 00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:36,486 Gribble, I am offering you the deal of the century. 248 00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:38,257 $75,000. 249 00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:43,195 In return, we accept no liability and you keep your mouth shut. 250 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,532 You have no idea who you're up against... 251 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:48,505 if you think I can begin to keep my mouth shut. 252 00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:53,376 I don't want your chump change. I am going for the big prize. 253 00:16:56,716 --> 00:17:00,550 Mr. Gribble, again I say this not only as an officer of the court... 254 00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,382 but as a caring human being. 255 00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,053 Please do not represent yourself. 256 00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:07,649 May I continue? 257 00:17:08,094 --> 00:17:11,394 -Legally I cannot stop you. -Thank you, Your Honor. 258 00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:15,995 Mr. Gribble, I hold in my hand... 259 00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:21,439 People Magazine's Fifty Most Beautiful People issue. 260 00:17:21,741 --> 00:17:26,611 Are you familiar with this Time Warner publication? 261 00:17:28,114 --> 00:17:29,081 No. 262 00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:32,477 May I remind you that you are under oath? 263 00:17:32,585 --> 00:17:34,952 And the subscription label on this magazine... 264 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,489 bears the name of your optometrist. 265 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,058 I will ask you again. 266 00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:44,561 Are you familiar with this Time Warner publication? 267 00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:48,532 Possibly. 268 00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:51,132 Objection. How is this relevant? 269 00:17:51,337 --> 00:17:53,362 Your Honor, I intend to establish... 270 00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:56,567 the witness's impossibly high standard of beauty. 271 00:17:56,943 --> 00:17:58,206 I will allow it. 272 00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:02,441 But I want to see where this is going. Sit still and get on with it. 273 00:18:02,615 --> 00:18:04,276 Thank you, Your Honor. 274 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:08,382 Mr. Gribble, referring to Page 16... 275 00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:10,012 in this magazine... 276 00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:14,116 can you identify the individual picture thereon? 277 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,897 Jennifer Aniston. 278 00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:22,633 Do you or do you not find her beautiful? 279 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:28,069 The really hot girl next door? Yeah. Beautiful, no. 280 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:33,642 Page 19, Denise Richards. 281 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:41,048 I cannot get past her wretched acting to see any beauty. 282 00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:47,689 Mira Sorvino, Mina Suvari, Chloe Sevigny? 283 00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:50,594 Speak English, please. 284 00:18:51,197 --> 00:18:53,427 Cindy Crawford? Mole! 285 00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,657 Very well then. 286 00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:58,868 Julia Roberts. 287 00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:02,098 "A horse is a horse, of course, of course.� 288 00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:05,369 You are telling this court under oath... 289 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,345 that you find none of these women beautiful? 290 00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:11,749 Are you a homosexual? 291 00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:13,715 No! 292 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:17,390 You cannot have it both ways, Mr. Gribble. 293 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:20,458 Either you are a homosexual... 294 00:19:20,559 --> 00:19:24,462 or the most beautiful woman in the world is in this magazine! 295 00:19:26,232 --> 00:19:30,226 The most beautiful woman in the world is in this courtroom. 296 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,774 Not you. The prettier woman next to you. 297 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:42,309 Would the woman in the sunglasses and hat... 298 00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:45,510 please remove her sunglasses and hat? 299 00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:51,249 Do you know this woman? 300 00:19:52,758 --> 00:19:55,989 She is my wife. She is my lover. 301 00:19:56,429 --> 00:20:01,026 She is the mother of my child. She is my raison d'�tre. 302 00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,534 But is she beautiful? 303 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,333 Now where is he going with this? 304 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:12,940 Your Honor, please direct the witness to answer the question. 305 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:16,276 Let me remind the witness and his attorney... 306 00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:21,319 that the entire basis of his damage claim rests upon his wife's appearance. 307 00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:24,052 One of you answer the question! 308 00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,819 She is the most beautiful woman in the world to me. 309 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,324 And I want her back more than anything. 310 00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:36,929 If anything, I owe Manitoba money for the loveliness... 311 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:40,700 my second-hand smoke has bestowed upon my Nancy. 312 00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:45,577 She thinks she needs a face-lift. But it couldn't be further from the truth. 313 00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:47,769 Your Honor, the defense moves for dismissal! 314 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,143 Case dismissed. 315 00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:53,114 Now, all of you, get the hell out of my courtroom. 316 00:20:53,285 --> 00:20:55,219 I am so sorry, Nancy. 317 00:20:55,321 --> 00:20:57,619 I just wanted to make you believe you were ugly... 318 00:20:57,723 --> 00:21:00,215 so if you testified you wouldn't have to lie. 319 00:21:01,727 --> 00:21:03,661 That's so romantic. 320 00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:08,860 It's romantic and cunning. I am the whole package. 321 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,834 Will you forgive me? 322 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:20,412 Cock-a-doodle-doo, Heimlich County. 323 00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,438 Nothing but blue skies ahead. 324 00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:27,349 There, I signed your wife's new contract. And I said I was sorry. 325 00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:28,750 Now, are you going to drop... 326 00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:30,913 that age-discrimination suit against the station? 327 00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:34,823 Not so fast, Hollywood. What's in it for me? 328 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,422 What do you want? 329 00:21:37,897 --> 00:21:40,195 I don't know. I hadn't thought about it. 330 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,700 File cabinet. 331 00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:46,636 Get him a file cabinet. 332 00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:49,367 I should have asked for a weather chopper. 333 00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:54,071 DALE: Weather chopper! And a file cabinet. 334 00:22:26,745 --> 00:22:28,509 LUANNE: Hug your babies tight. 335 00:22:28,559 --> 00:22:33,109 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0